Thursday, July 12, 2007

God's never too busy...

OCEAN CITY, New Jersey (AP) -- Miss New Jersey can keep her crown despite photos that show her acting "not in a ladylike manner."


Miss New Jersey Amy Polumbo blew kisses to audience members during the announcement.

Hours after a nervous Amy Polumbo went public Thursday with photos of herself that had been sent anonymously to pageant officials, those officials decided the pictures did not merit stripping her of the title.

"I'm very happy about this decision, and I look forward to resuming my agenda* as Miss New Jersey," said a smiling Polumbo, who blew kisses to audience members during the announcement.

The beauty pageant winner apologized for the trouble the pictures had caused and thanked the pageant board for its support.

"I want to thank the public," Polumbo said. "I also want to thank God for getting me through this."

The pictures include one showing what Polumbo said was her boyfriend apparently biting her breast through her shirt, another of Polumbo in a limousine wearing jeans with her legs spread in the air and another of her in what appears to be a Halloween costume dress holding two small pumpkins up to her breasts.

"It's not in a ladylike manner. I'm not a robot. I'm a human being," Polumbo said.

OK, I like to imagine God sitting in a huge control the one at Fermi Lab only bigger and with even more buttons and things that go 'boooop'. So, he's sitting there and it must be action packed... "Let's see I got that plane with mechanical trouble, Osama is still hiding somewhere, still can't quite get rid of No Child Left Behind, there's that kid playing on the train tracks...what the. . . hold the phone! CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE! Someone is being mean to Miss New Jersey. Shut down ALL the prayer lines EXCEPT her's. Roger.

Yeah, the creator has time for your tough life as a beauty queen. (This is where we need Sam Kinison) Starving people just wait a minute will you? sheesh. Some people.

(Oh and I hate her hair! and her giant front teeth!)

*Don't you really want to see this agenda: Get up, comb hair, take nap, comb hair, check make-up, blow kisses, act bitchy to my aids, comb hair, buy a dress, repeat.

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